HELP WITH RELATIONSHIP RENEWAL

At some point in life, most people attempt an intimate relationship with the opposite sex. Without a good foundation, marriage can result in pain like nothing else. We want you to enjoy all God has planned through marriage.

Take the Relational Strengthening Assessment to see if you would benefit from meeting with a counselor.

Falling in love is easy. Falling out of love is easy. Falling back in love and staying in love is hard. Are you ready to learn how to love again?

God's Definition of Marriage

Genesis 2:24 contains a succinct and profound description of marriage. The verse includes three essential actions that make an authentic marriage:

  1. A man will leave his father and mother;
  2. Be united to his wife; and
  3. They will become one flesh.

In his book I Married You, Walter Trobisch defines marriage as:

  1. The Wedding: The public and legal act that announces to the world the formation of a new family unit;
  2. Faithfulness: The loving commitment to be faithful companions growing in intimate knowledge of each other; and
  3. The Sexual Union: The physical union of husband and wife that represents their faithfulness.

However, this does not give the impression that marriage is a dynamic and cyclical process.
In Genesis 1:28 God exhorts Adam and Eve to be fruitful, multiply, and to fill, subdue, and have dominion over the earth. Bearing fruit and multiplying ensures theirs will not be the last marriage. Adam and Eve’s children eventually form their own families. These four steps bring the process full circle:

  1. Leave past affiliations;
  2. Protect growing intimacy;
  3. Join together as one to produce fruit; and
  4. Multiply and release offspring into the world.

Based on these four steps, I propose the following as a working definition of marriage:
God joining together a man and a woman, loyal to each other for life, who each contribute distinct but equally important abilities towards the completion of a fruitful mission greater than can be accomplished apart.

Marriage and Pornography

Sex addiction is a disorder of intimacy which has negative consequences on marriages and families. Pornography is never good for an individual or a marriage. God intended sexual intimacy to be between a husband and wife (married to each other).

At NRC, we treat sexual addiction at a relational level. Our approach considers grace as the foundation of recovery. The best recovery includes both 1) an immediate tactical intervention of removing (avoiding) temptation and increasing accountability, and 2) a long-term strategy that focuses on healing wounds and correcting false beliefs. Focusing primarily on what was done wrong is the same as trying to live up to the law which only aggravates and condemns. With an increased sense of failure and guilt, the need for immediately relief is only intensified and the cycle of addiction is frequently perpetuated this way. But this does not have to happen.

Pornography could be considered the Christian’s drug of choice. Alcoholism is now recognized as a genuine problem. Lunchtime drinking is frowned upon, but circumstances are just right for sex addiction to flourish. Both Christian men and Christian woman are struggling with sex addictions today. Put them into the anxiety producing pressure cooker of today’s work environment. Ratchet up the pressure to produce. Take away time to nurture real family relationships. Give easy access to online pornography, cybersex, phone sex, prostitutes. A person so inclined can fill his or her addictive need during a short lunch break. No hangover. What other addiction is like it?

Some statistics about pornography:

To be addicted is to have an unhealthy relationship with a mood-altering substance or behavior. The addict will deny the adverse consequences and the loss of control. Addictions are both physiological (body chemistry altering) and volitional (a choice to sin). Some symptoms of addictive sexuality are:

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