Coping can provide immediate pain relief, but it will not last forever. When the relief stops, the problem will be bigger and more painful.Coping is meant to be temporary until the healing you need is available and you are ready to receive the healing.
Because coping is not the same as healing, you will eventually reach conclusions like:
Addiction is one way to cope. You can use it to hide your underlying symptoms so you do not have to experience them. A simple definition of addiction is using something in a way other than how God intended it to be used. Any of the following can be used for pain relief:
In order to heal, you need to be in touch with your painful symptoms. You need to stop coping before you can start healing. You need to face your pain. Maybe you have become aware of your pain in one of these areas:
You can gain the whole world, but still feel empty inside. God placed in our hearts a desire for Him--a desire for meaning and purpose that transcends anything with can do or experience outside of a spiritual connection with God.
Life can throw curveballs at you — sometimes more than one at a time. When you are experiencing pain directly from a recent event, that is Present Pain. If you do not dwell on all the painful details every day or you have forgotten why you are hurting, that is Past Pain.
A recent experience — such as a car accident — can leave you feeling overwhelmed. You may be in shock and unable to function in your normal routine.
Work pain is a good example of present pain. It is hard to forget because you experience it on a weekly basis. Work pain can become past pain when you find a new job. However, since God made you to serve Him, work pain will always be present. You have a purpose to accomplish the work God prepared for you. But you can struggle to feel useful especially when you do not know who you are or why God made you.
God calls some people to work at home (parenting) and others to work outside the home. Both can stir up emotional pain. If you have work pain, you might be thinking any of the following:
Present pain is ripe for the picking. The best time to deal with a traumatic event is as soon as possible after the event.
If you are not willing or able to deal with pain while it is still fresh in your mind, it can fade into the background and become enduring pain. After pain goes underground, it can transform into any negative feeling such as:
Enduring pain can sometimes be "out of sight, out of mind," but, unfortunately, it can resurface at any time with a vengeance. Eventually, the pain will be unavoidable and you will need to process the trauma and/or heal the emotional damage to your self-worth.
Parents, peers, children, friends, and romantic partners can all be sources of relational pain. You can be in a relationship and still feel lonely. You can be single and not lonely or struggle to find satisfaction being single.
At some point in their life, most people attempt an intimate relationship with the opposite sex. Without a good foundation, marriage can result in pain like nothing else on earth. We want you to enjoy all God has planned through marriage.
Whether you are single by choice or single until married, you need intimate relationships. But to have quality relationships, you need a place to grow in your relational skills. We want to help you identify and reach your goals in life.
Introverts have different relationship needs than extraverts, but both need relationships to thrive. Learn about Counseling for Introverts.
Learn about the methods that Matt uses to help people.
No matter the depth of your pain or how difficult the relationship, there is hope!